Waiting for a "Yes"

Day 68

My rejection letters are starting to turn up now - I have three already. Although I am impressed by the kindness and thoughtfulness of the wording, they still say NO. I tell myself they could sometimes be saying "not at this time", and all the things I've read are quite clear on the point that a 'no' from one person is not a reflection of your work. Or even a 'no' from lots of people, apparently.

All the experts say "don't give up, believe in what you have done, persevere," etc., but what if your book actually is crap? What if you, as an author, are the equivalent of those unfortunate hopefuls on X Factor with voices like nails down a blackboard, and all the star quality of a soggy lettuce, and no-one will tell you? How do you find out?

When I watch the auditions of shows like that I am, of course, entertained, but I also feel very sympathetic towards the young people concerned. I think they been sold a pack of lies by the media. They firmly believe that if they "really, really want this" then that is what will make it happen. They do not seem to consider that talent plays any part in this at all.

The stars themselves only perpetuate this illusion. No-one since Mohammed Ali has been able to get away with blatant bragging and showing off, without committing career suicide. Nobody nowadays concludes publicly, that their success is due to them being just a hell of a lot better at this than anybody else, oh no. The most they will concede is that they have worked very hard, or were very lucky! I ask you.

This doesn't really help anyone, least of all those poor chumps under the illusion that because they go down a storm on Karaoke night (and we all know why), that that makes them God's gift to the music industry. Nor do they seem to understand that happiness is not guaranteed by appearing in Heat magazine - it does not mean your life is wonderful, fulfilling, worthwhile, utilizing your unique talents, and leaving you proud and without regrets 'when you face the final curtain'.

I feel for them, I really do.

However, by writing and illustrating this book I believe I am using my unique talents - this just may not be the format that works, I don't yet know. I will do what is suggested - I will persevere, keeping my vision clear and my hope abundant. If I get rejections from ALL the agents, I will try others, and if that does not work I will contact every publisher I can.

If all this fails to bring about the result I desire, I will find another avenue through which to express my creativity and uniqueness. I do not believe I deserve this because "I really, really want it", but only if my work is good enough. And if that proves not to be the case then, Hell's bell's but I'll work until it is.