Bad news, sad news.

Day 65

I set my family a small challenge the other day. I noticed that the loo roll needed changing, but yet again, somebody had just left the new one propped on the old, empty, cardboard tube. I declined to change it and waited to see how long it would be before someone else did. I have to tell you, we were well into the third loo roll before it got changed, and I found the empty tubes propped on the cistern - they never made it as far as the bin. So my conclusion is that my fellas still believe in the toilet-roll Fairy. Aaah, bless 'em.

Have had my second rejection letter, out of the seven I initially sent off. Again, it was unfailingly polite and quite kind. They were at great pains to point out that they received over 300 manuscripts per week and could only take on two or three. Although I dislike the suspense of waiting, their replies leave me with no sense of rejection at all, which is pretty good. The power of words, eh.

Have shelved working on book number two for this week, while I concentrate on getting the Christmas stuff done. Also, my brain was going round in the same old circles trying to work out the format, and when you get stuck in that loop it's always good to give yourself a break. Will get back to it on Monday, when hopefully the fog will have cleared.

Some years ago, I was involved a couple of wonderful support groups, full of people who had done the same self-develpment course as me. We upheld each other's vision in life and took a firm line against self-sabotaging behaviours and thought patterns. Sadly, one of those old, dear friends has passed away and we're going to his funeral tomorrow.

I personally believe very strongly in reincarnation, but I am aware it is just a belief, and that not everybody thinks that way. I find it comforting, and logical, and it seems to make more sense to me than any of the alternatives. My beloved sister therefore, is someone I shall meet again, but is currently a bit further away than Kenya, or Antigua, or Botswana, or any of the other places she used to live. And out of cell phone reach.

My friend Ruth, the widow of our lovely Eric who passed, probably doesn't share these beliefs, so I will endeavour to be tactful tomorrow. She is a strong and extraordinary woman who has helped me many times in the past. We taught a 'Self-Esteem Course' together, which was a privilege and a treat. She has by far the biggest heart.

I know from past experience that the day before the funeral is extremely difficult, so Ruth, I send my love, my energy, and my thoughts to you, out over the ether, and hope your pain is not too great. I will see you tomorrow, my sweet lady.

And Eric, I will see you when I see you. God speed, my darling, you were wonderful to know.