Bad sleep, boiled kids, and The Great Potato

Day 91

Steve forgot to order my Progesterone cream in time to beat the Christmas post, and so I ran out yesterday. This is not the tragedy that it would have been a few years ago, when the absence of it would have resulted in me pacing the floor, shaking and sweating as if with the DT's, crying, anxious, and unable to do anything except count the seconds away. No - those days are long gone, thankfully, and my recovery from this rather bonkers illness is well under way.

I still need it to help me sleep now that I am menopausal though. This has pushed me back a bit - hormones even further out of whack than usual - so I find supplementing my progesterone is the only thing that knocks me out and keeps me that way, (five trips to the loo notwithstanding). Last night, I dozed a little, then was wide awake from 2.00 until about 5.30, so am all over the place today. This may explain the odd, last, dream memory I had upon waking, and my subsequent thoughts.

In it, I remember seeing someone in a huge, loose-knit, stripey jumper trying to climb over a wall, but being prevented by several other people from whom he was obviously trying to escape, hanging onto his jumper. Couldn't recall the rest of the dream so that made no sense, but then the words of the second commandment popped into my head out of nowhere - "Thou shalt have no other God but me", and that did make it weird.

(Not as weird, however, as going online and checking the number of the commandment only to discover there is actually a version in Exodus which states "Thou shalt not boil a kid in it's mother's milk"! Well, you wouldn't anyway, would you.)

It got me thinking - always a bad thing when my sleep is haywire - that if this were a written law, then it could be picked to pieces in court quite easily. For a start, it implies there are other Gods available, and that a choice - if not necessarily 'right', according to them - is possible.

Now that is the Old Testament for you - all God's wrath, and testing, and punishment, and other stuff that would make you consider different options if more than one God was around, so perhaps laying down a commandment about it was the only way that made sense to them at the time. You get to the New Testament and things have quietened down a bit. Here one is told that all good deeds done in another's name go directly to this God anyway - all roads leading up the same mountain, so to speak. Phew.

Then of course, big J announces that no-one gets to 'the Father' but by him. What's that all about? If there are no other Gods then it doesn't matter which name you pray to, surely? And isn't the desire for world domination the one distinguishing characteristic of all super villains? Not good advertising! And frankly, not very good for peace and love, which the J man was supposed to be all about.

Sadly, the truth of the matter could be in the fact that the Bible was written long after Jesus died, and was therefore the tabloid newspaper of its day. No actual interview, as such, just lots of half remembered quotes and other peoples opinions. Folk tend to remember only the things that had impact on them, and it's quite easy to take things out of context.

So here's what I think. That every living atom in this universe and the next, and all the spaces in between, has at heart an energy that is beautiful, and extraordinary, and divine, and perfect, and you can call it any name you like. It doesn't need worshipping because it has no ego, and it can't ever stop existing, it can only change it's form. It is simply life, and I call it God because that works for me, but I could just as easily call it Frank or the great potato, it would make no difference.

This Christmas, when I hear people celebrating with carols the birth of Jesus, and singing praise him, hallelujah, I will let the words pass me by and focus on the spirit of it all. The joy, the wish for peace, the neighbourliness, and the practice of giving and appreciating, these are all good things. From Wenceslas to Santa, generosity and love have been hallmarks of Christmas, whichever name you give your God, however you worship, and whatever your beliefs.

Real peace on Earth can only come about with acceptance of others, including their beliefs. If we can see it as all part of the same thing, then it gets a little easier, I think.