Building bridges with my computer

Day 30

If wellness is a state of mind, then it's time I saw a shrink. Have finished the antibiotics, and am now coughing like a fifty-a-day fag and whiskey man, and I've never smoked in my life. Bought some cough medicine yesterday, but it did nothing except bring me out in a rash. Am now coughing, spotty and itchy, and getting less attractive by the minute. Will go back to the doc's again this afternoon, c'os I'm really bored with this.

The computer died yesterday and Steve had to go out and get a new hard drive or something. He described the noises it made as it croaked, with as much feeling and sympathy as if it had been one of the kids. The relationship between a man and his PC is clearly a sacred and wonderful thing. So, he sat in the hole in the wall that we call an office, tending it's fevered brow or whatever it is you do until late last night, and now it works agin. Thanks sweetheart.

To me computers are just metal boxes, that I don't find particularly attractive and am often confused or irritated with, but I know that they represent something else entirely to others in this world. My husband often shows me pictures of some latest fabulous electronic gadget and uses the phrase 'sexy' to describe it. 'Sexy'?! - I ask you, maybe this is where I'm going wrong.

Despite the fact that I really rather like Science Fiction, (having an older brother who would pass on Ray Bradbury and Isaac Asimov books), I've never subscribed to the 'computer as a living thing' point of view. I don't think for one minute that my home PC will one day develop consciousness and run off with the hoover, to plot world domination and the overthrow of the human race, for instance.(Though I don't mind if the iron develops an ability to work independantly).

I do treat my plants with care though. I fuss about trying to find the right position for them - not enough sun, too much sun, away from a radiator, out of draughts etc., and I think they grow better because of the attention as well as the right conditions. Maybe I'm missing a trick with computers. It's easier for me with my plants, because they are much more clearly organic and full of life, and I can relate to their vibration as a life force. Perhaps if I remember that computers are also made from things on this planet - they have copper wire for instance, and even the plastic casing was once a natural substance from the Earth - then I can connect to them better. Maybe then they'll work better for me.

So, starting today, I shall send the computer a positive thought and thank it for allowing me to write my blog.

I'm absolutely not giving it a name though - there are limits.