What to do when it's really cold

Day 27

Many years ago, when I was a single parent on Income Support, my sister came to live with me for a while. College hadn't worked out for her and she wanted to find her direction in life. She couldn't get much dole as she was living with me, and jobs were thin on the ground at the time, (much like today), so we were both totally broke.

One night in December, we were squashed onto my bed, huddled under the duvet (as it saved on heating), looking through an atlas playing 'If you could go anywhere, where would you choose?' Not being from a family who ever travelled unless it was to an Auntie's house, we had little experience, and everywhere sounded exotic and wonderful to us. We settled on Casablanca, the name redolent with romance and mystery to our somewhat ignorant ears.

So it was, that a few months later, having suddenly been gifted a thousand pounds each, we decided to be sensible with half the money, and go to Casablanca with the rest. Unlike the image in our heads, Casablanca turned out to be a bit of a dump in 1984, so that is why we were travelling around Morocco, looking for authentic experiences (and getting stuck on a bus to Marrakesh at four in the morning).

I've always travelled hopefully - I find few things as enriching as journeying along unknown roads. There always exists the possibility for limitless discovery, if you head for somewhere you've never been before. Today, as I am tired and a little worn out after my fab weekend, I was wondering how to apply that sense of hopefulness to the life I am inhabiting now. In My New Life, I don't want to waste time or take any day for granted.

So I stood in the garden and let myself Be. I heard the sounds of Blackbirds, magpies, and children playing in a school playground. I could smell the coal-dust tang of smoke from someones fire. I looked down and saw the perfect red of a fallen Maple leaf on a deep green table. I lifted my head, and saw a plane so high up in a clear blue sky, it could have been coming from Mars. The sun warmed my face. The air was crisp. The moment - perfect.

I step back inside, feeling as if - for one split second - I had been on a journey, and was now back, renewed, refocused, and at peace. Sometimes, it seems, it is not where we go, but how open we are to being there, that counts.