The lengths I'll go to for a party

Day 128

I have been unable to write for a few days due to chronic exhaustion brought on by lack of sleep. What fun. Insomnia giving me a run for my money again. Couldn't sleep untill 6.30 the other night. In desparation, resorted to sleeping pills for one night, and it has taken me until today to stop feeling drugged.

Much better now though, and planning my costume for my mate Rebecca's party on Saturday. The theme is 'French', although she isn't, her husband isn't, nor are they planning to go there any time soon. No, the reason is they have found a tape of Charles Aznavour singing 'La Mer' and such, and think it's really retro cool. Which it probably is now. Certainly wasn't first time round, which I remember only too well.

So - French. I don't even own a beret. I bought one for Sam's girlfriend Lydian recently so I asked to borrow it, but she can't find it, so no joy there. If we had the funds, I would go and hire a can-can dancers frock and glam it up big time, with feather boa, the lot. If I had only a few quid I would get something from a charity shop to turn into one, and get sewing.

But I have no money, so this is a bit of a challenge.

I am going to paint a string of onions around the neck of an old white t-shirt for Steve, and then stripe it all over with magic-marker. Might even paint on the odd snail or legless frog. Simples. But as for me, well I'm a bit stumped. I have a vague memory that I might have some red fabric somewhere, which combined with an old white pillow case and the fact that I have blue tights and boots, could be made into a sort of 'flag' frock, I suppose. If I can find it, it will have to do.

My hair has a lot of white though, and Lydian left some bright pink hair dye that could be made redder with food colouring, and Sam gave me blue hair dye for Xmas. Is this going too far, do you think?

I've always been good at going too far if it's for a party. In my twenties, my sister and I held a Xmas do. She dressed as the fairy, all in white with silver tinsel and a wand. I dressed as the Xmas tree. I had a green boucle A-line dress from a charity shop which we threaded wire through the hem to make it stick out. We sewed little 'presents' and baubles on, hung me all about with tinsel and stuck a small fairy at a jaunty angle on my head.

So far, so funky, but then the 'piece-de-resistance' - I was going to spray a dramatic stripe across my face at eye level, just like Darryl Hannah does in Bladerunner, which we thought was sooooo cool.

Ten minutes before the guests were due, we were in the bathroom with a can of green hair spray paint, which was all we could find. I shut my eyes, Caron let loose with the spray, I screamed VERY loudly, Caron dropped the spray can, I opened a pair of streaming, blood-red eyeballs, Caron then screamed and panicked, grabbed a towel to wipe off the offending (and as it turned out, alcohol-based spray), and I yelled "don't do that, I'm not going through all this pain for nothing"!

When the guests did arrive, I had used enough Murine eye-drops to keep my eyes sparkling clear for a month, the green tear-trickles had been mopped up a bit, and my eyes felt like they had been cryogenicly frozen them re-inserted into my head. I did look damn good though.