Bev to big G - are you receiving?

Day 146

I have a Rune stone that says "trust your own process and watch for signs of Spring", and although the signs are outwardly there - snowdrops peeping sharp and white in the garden, green tips of daffodils waiting to explode with sunshine - my own spring seems just out of reach.

The insomnia carries on apace, a permanent blocked nose and bloated body impede my progress, my head is always either spacey and dizzy or thumping with pain, and the exhaustion is boring my brain silly. Well, enough is enough.

I will be brave, nail my colours to the mast here, and put out a call to the 'man' upstairs, the Universe, God, the Divine, Gaia, my guardian Angel, the Great Spirit, the ether, All That Is, whoever is in charge out there, I don't mind what you're called, I just need some help and some answers.

Here are the questions, God, - what is it about my physical situation and the emotional ties I have to it, that I have yet to learn? What do I need to let go of, and what must I embrace if I want this situation to change? What have I forgotten that it would serve me to remember and what do I need to do?

I am open, I am listening, I am by the phone, as it were, waiting for your call.

Will the answers come as a blinding epiphany, a chance encounter that leads to new knowledge, or a slow sense of waking up, of quiet realisations and inspirations, as if the jigsaw pieces are starting to fit? Who knows. Any or all of the above, and a few more besides I expect.

Recently, I have spent my time getting by, waiting for something to ease up and give me a bit of a breathing space. My concentration is on distractions and time-fillers, my spiritual life temporarily parked while I wait for the energy or inspiration to 'get back on track'. Well, too much, too long, I need to be pro-active now.

The best way I know to do this is by 'Being' not by 'Doing', and so I will practice gratitude, emptiness, peace, calm and love. I will align myself to the frequency of spiritual communication as best I can, by keeping down the negative thoughts, and creating a quiet space within me, in order to hear more clearly my own, true voice.

I know somewhere deep down inside, where my soul connects to the Divine, I have all the answers, all the signposts to the path that would lead to health. It is hearing that voice that is the trick. Trust my own process - I will hold fast to that, and then when I hear it, when the spring comes, I will surely blossom too.